Transparent

Last night I went to one of the most amazing worship services in a long time. Every Monday Northwestern has Rended Hearts, and hour or so long worship service in the chapel. I’ve always enjoyed it, but there was something about last nights that really stuck with me. You could really feel God’s presence in the place and I could feel Him working in and through me. It was so powerful and amazing to be a part of. There was a moment in the very beginning that really stood out to me and I will share it with you now.

One of the guitarists talked about being at a conference a few weeks ago and something amazing happening. He was a worship leader for the conference and one of the last nights there they asked him to lead worship without his guitar. He talked about how it was such a different experience that he had never been through and he was really scared. It was hard for him to think about. He felt so transparent and vulnerable because for the first time he could not hide behind his guitar. It was just him and God… pure worship with no strings attached.
I really liked what he said about being transparent and having nothing to hide behind.

I wanted that feeling of being completely transparent in front of my Father. It really got me thinking about the things I hide behind during worship and every day activities. I realized I hide behind a lot of things and I began the process of breaking down those barriers that have been holding me back. Some of the things I hide behind are fears, worry, stressors, past hurts, and mistakes I’ve made. I was amazed by the things I was coming up with. I never realized how much they have affected me and held me back from pure worship. I was guilty… and totally convicted. I spent the next hour and a half of Rended Hearts giving up the things I hide behind. Surrendering them and myself to Him. I felt a difference in my worship. It was pure. I was worshipping with all my heart… no strings attached. I left feeling free and renewed; a burden lifted off my shoulders.

There was a lot on my mind when I left and it was a lot to take in, so I decided to go for a run outside to clear my mind, worship some more, and bask in the beauty He has created. It was an amazing time just between me and God. It was 1130 or so when I went running. I loved being able to look up at the stars and really notice the masterpiece that only He can create. I was also able to look out at the snow and ice covered lake that surrounds campus and it was just beautiful, the moon shone down on it in such a powerful way. I knew God was with me, running right along beside me.

I challenge you to be transparent before God. Don’t hold anything back. Let go of the things holding you back. Be real with Him. He knows everything going on in our lives, He just wants us to be open with Him and trust Him enough to talk to Him about what is happening in our lives. Trust Him… He is the best and closest Friend and Father that you will ever have. I will leave you with that and this song (or part of 2 songs) called “Found” and “Devotion” by Hillsong United:

And I've found myself in You, Jesus
And I've found myself in You, Lord
So take me to a place
where I can see You face to face
and all I wanna do, all I wanna do
is worship You
I will live for all my days to worship you

I will take up my cross and follow Lord where you lead me
And I will take up my cross and follow wherever you go

Father I pray that I may be transparent before you God. The things holding me back from worshipping you purely will not go away in an instant, but I pray that you will continue working in me. I don’t want to lose the feeling I left with last night. You have blessed me in so many ways and I am grateful for all You have done for me, through me, and around me. I love you!